I Won't Quit
Leadership Development at Work
by Gail Green
They say that sex sells. My namesake in New York, Gail Greene, is a food critic, specializing in the café and restaurants that have that sexy ambiance or romance-enticing dishes. Sex sells.
So does courage. Acts of courage. And when those acts of courage come from oneself and you get to witness what you have done in spite of resistance and struggle, it builds a strength of character that shows up as inspiration and leadership.
Think about the times you have found yourself pushed beyond your capacity, stressed with time pressures and deadlines, and overwhelmed with learning on the fly. Do you quit? Do you blame your boss? Do you give up? Or do you march on, hoping it gets better, and clearer, and more fulfilling?
I WON’T QUIT is an acknowledgment of trusting in the flow of your life and how the world touches to you personally. I’ve learned the hard way that if “it” is still in my face, it’s not over. If “it” won’t go away, there’s more for me to do. If “it” gnaws at my thoughts, there’s more adventure ahead.
I WON’T QUIT means not quitting on your life and your way of learning. Sometimes we are like flies on flypaper—you just can’t get away. This has been my focus since February of this year, 7 months ago, when I decided to hire a web designer to rebuild my website. 7 months later and five renditions to go with it, we are just launching the site that works.
I gave myself the entire month of February to write and work with Martha, president of EyeFull, to craft a style and expression and website that matched All Ways Collect’s essence. I thought a month of focused time and design would be ample. So did she. It has taken seven.
I didn’t know what I was signing up for. I didn’t know what I wanted, either. But I was enthusiastic to take on a month to discover it.
For our first rendition we let ourselves be bold and colorful and as expressive as desired, only to receive input that said it didn’t appeal to readers. We were told we were sending mixed messages with colors and icons and we needed to align those.
We did that, only to be met with more puzzled “I don’t like it” looks. Redo the home page, upgrade the fonts and design. Get a new designer who knows what she’s doing. It was mid April and I had already invested time and money.
I WON’T QUIT, but I sure wanted to. This was too difficult and time consuming. I liked what we had but my two favorite critics, my husband Jerome and a business associate AD (both avid web surfers), definitely gave it a thumbs down.
By June, after two more renditions and still not “hitting it” according to our critics, it was suggested I get a web master and designer who could handle the complexity of my site. We had followed their suggestions to date, but our efforts were still met with disapproval. I was so frustrated and depleted. They thought I was working with the wrong person going in the wrong direction.
I WON’T QUIT. That’s all I heard inside. I WON’T QUIT. I won’t quit me, I won’t quit Martha, and I won’t quit this learning process. So many times in the past I have quit when the going gets tough, or I was paralyzed with ambiguity, or overcome with critical feedback.
But this time, I didn’t quit. Instead, I sent my link to 15 dear friends and associates, asking for their honest input particularly on the home page. Boy did I get it! My brother, Rob, called my homepage a “mishmash” and “disservice to myself”. Harsh but needed. Others said the site was confusing, disconnected, too busy, not reader friendly, etc.
So what do you do? I was in over my head—I didn’t know what I was looking for. The message was to simplify, clarify and refine. And I decided I WON’T QUIT. I won’t give up on myself or Martha. I won’t give up on the process of learning I was being held to. Fly on flypaper.
Come July, after weeks of getting all this input, I received a sample homepage design from Martha that stopped me in my tracks. I had it up on my screen and I just stared and stared. I didn’t want to take it down. For the first time, I saw and felt ME reflected back! This design of color and layout and simplicity embraced my essence, my feelings, my beauty. We found it, and now could build with speed and ease.
I WON’T QUIT got us to this place of building. After that, the refinement and writing came with a flow and deliberateness. It was fun and fulfilling.
We were in the last stretch of finishing touches, and I was on the phone with Martha, listening to her recounting our journey together, being held to the learning neither of us thought we should have to endure. As she spoke, a picture came to me of digging for a buried treasure.
I began to express it to her, seeing her with shovel in hand, plunging it into the soil and penetrating the ground repeatedly, digging for a buried treasure. Focused, digging, not sure how deep, not even sure there was a treasure awaiting, but digging anyway. All of a sudden, an invisible hand grasped my throat, choking all the air out of my windpipe. I could hardly breathe, I gagged on what little air I had, and it persisted. Struggling to breathe as I grabbed for some water, the coughing continued. Hack, hack, hack. My eyes were watering and my nose was dripping—what brought this on so suddenly? And where is that oxygen? The water wasn’t helping. It took me at least two minutes to be able to speak.
Martha said, “Do you remember what you were saying when you began to choke? You were talking about digging for a buried treasure.” Oh yeah, well….
Buried treasure. Digging. I WON’T QUIT. You dig and think it should be done. It’s not. You keep digging hoping you find it, not knowing how far down you’ll have to go. So you dig and dig and dig and wonder. But you can’t stop.
And then your shovel hits something hard—a rock? A root? You get down on your knees and get your fingers in the dirt, feeling around for the shape of the treasure. And you have to get dirty, clearing away the soil and it’s messy. Learning always is.
You clear away the dirt and find the outline of the treasure. And you realize that all the work and effort getting you to this point has required you to stay with it without guarantees. And now you have it in your hands and you don’t even know what you have. You never did.
This is the gift of learning and earning and building. But we wouldn’t find it without I WON’T QUIT. Character is developed this way. Courage is built this way. The real nuggets of learning are often hidden, buried, messy, yet all the while magnetic and alluring.
The buried treasure seemed to be buried inside my lungs and I had to struggle to be able to let it come out. After this communication, I felt changed, like what a professional athlete must feel when they break a record or push themselves beyond what they thought possible. It changes you forever.
What would happen if each one of us lived I WON’T QUIT when we needed it most? We would transform each other. We would transform the world.
